Toeing the line
by calamityjane31
Summary: What happens when Maura crosses a line in her friendship with Jane in an unexpected way? How will this affect their relationship with each other and those around them? This is a story about love. How it often times messy and imperfect. But also about how even out of hurt and disappointment something beautiful can be born. Endgame is Rizzles.
1. Toeing the line

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rizzoli and Isles, that wonderful privilege belongs to Tess Gerritsen and TNT.**

**A/N: This is my first fanfic and something I've wanted to try my hand at for awhile now, so keep that in mind and be patient. This will be a slightly AU while trying to stick mostly to canon. The differences being I haven't seen season 5 as of yet so it will not play a part here, also Casey will be largely abse in regards to season 4 and the whole pregnancy thing, as well as Frost being a part of this story. This that said and done enjoy!**

Toeing the line. They toed the line. It's what the did, what they had always done. That beautiful, blurry, albeit invisible line. The line that secretly defined their relationship. The one they constantly danced around, hell even on at times, but never over. Never ever over. But now, now it had been obliterated, decimated, shattered, smashed, destroyed and not even in the way she had imagined.

How had this happened? How the hell had this happened? She never saw this coming. How had she not seen this coming? She was a detective for fuck's sake. It was her job to see, to sense, to know other people's secrets. To draw them out and piece them together, especially those closest to her. But she had been completely ignorant of this, never expecting a damn thing and that was her first mistake.

She knew better. She was suppose to expect the unexpected. It was a rule all good cops lived by, one she lived by. It was part of the reason she was so good at her job. It was a truth she learned early in her career and one that reasserted itself after Hoyt. But she had not expected this and it left her reeling, sitting in some piece of shit bar, desperately seeking to dull the searing ache in her chest and make sense of the mess before her.

The sound of a loud chirp drew her from her thoughts. She didn't need to check her phone to know who it was. There were only four possibilities: Maura, Frankie, Krosak, and Frost. And she didn't need to read the message to know the what, they wanted to know where she was and why she wasn't at the Robber.

"Well, tough shit, they will just have to get over it. I can't deal with that shitstorm at the moment" she mumbled to herself.

"What was that?"

Jane's head snapped up at the familiar voice and groaned, "Jesus Frost, what in the hell are you doing here and how in the hell did you find me?"

Her partner motioned for the bartender before answering, "GPS tracking. Don't tell me you forgot?"

Shit. That's exactly what she had done. After Dominic and her run in with Hoyt and his apprentice, Frost had been adamant about installing the app on her phone. He assured her he would be the only one with access and even went one step further to promise not to divulge the information unless absolutely necessary. Well, at least Maura and Frankie weren't here with him.

The short haired brunette finally made her way to Frost, "What can I getcha?"

"I'll take a beer and she'll have…'

"Scotch, Hankey Bannister 25 year, straight up."

"You see where you're at right? This ain't the Ritz", quipped the short woman before her.

"Then _what's _the best you got?"

"Hmmm….Glenfarcias 12 year Single Malt."

The tall brunette responded, "that'll do" with a heavy sigh.

"What the hell is Hankey Bannister 25 year?" Frost asked.

"It's a very expensive but very good blended scotch."

"And what the hell does blended me exactly? They throw that shit in a blender or something?"

She answered him with a chuckle and a wave of her hand. " No. It's a scotch made from whiskies that come from two or more distilleries."

"Okay, where's my partner and what have you done with her?" "When did you become such a scotch connoisseur and more importantly, how they hell do you know any of this shit any way?" he asked with an incredulous look on his young face.

Jane gave him a pointed look, before responding, "How do you think?"

She noticed his eyes soften before answering, "Maura?"

"Yeah, Maura" she breathed out softly. Drinks now in hand they set in comfortable silence until Frost gently urged, "wanna talk about it?"

Without warning, the events of earlier in the day rushed back full force causing her eyes to sting with unshed tears and a searing pain to flash fresh across her chest. To buy time and lessen the lump rapidly forming in her throat, she took a rather generous gulp of her drink. Emotions swirling along with the scotch on her tongue Jane struggled to gain her footing. The pain in her chest was rapidly morphing into anger, white hot and pointed. She grasped hold of it in an effort to dull the fresh wave of pain. With a swallow she finally answered. Her voice calm but full of deadly intent.

"They send you?"

"No." His answer was short, simple. It contained no malice, no judgment, just simple truth. It appeased her a little and allowed a some of the anger to wash away too.

"They tell you?"

"Yeah. Yeah, they did. I could tell something was off when they came in. One because you weren't with them and Maura was…jumpy, distracted. Every time the door opened she'd give a small start and smile expectantly only for it to leave her face a few moments later. She was even quiet."

"I bet Maura was spinning the hell out of that ring on her finger and frowning the whole time because she couldn't stop" she chuckled to herself.

"Exactly! You know her well."

"Yeah, Yeah I do" she stated smiling.

Observing his friend for a moment he noticed the smile didn't quiet reach her eyes and he continued. "And Frankie, well he was just uncomfortable. He seemed at a loss on how to handle the Doc. As she become more and more agitated, he become more of a nervous wreck. Hell, I was wound tight as a damn spring just watching them. So when 9:30 rolled around and you hadn't showed up and weren't answering your phone Korsak and I told'em to spill. And they did."

"So if you know, I don't need to talk about it."

"I want to hear what you have to say?"

"Why?" she asked incredulous.

He took a moment to respond. He knew Jane loved Maura. He had known almost as long as she had. Hell, him and Vince talked about it on occasion. It was as if there was an unspoken rule between Jane and Maura. And not just between them but the whole department. A line of sorts that wasn't to be crossed. It was understood, no one Jane knew was to date the Doctor. Jane never said it, it never needed to be said. It was simply implied, understood, and respected, even by that piece of shit Crow.

He thought Maura understood that too or at least was aware of it. He was seriously having to rethink that conclusion. Even more surprising was Frankie. He was Jane's brother for crying out loud. If anyone should know Maura was off limits, it was him. Especially after the whole Tommy thing. So when Maura and Frankie announced they were dating and had been for the past two months he was more than a little shocked. He was flat out floored. And he knew if he was surprised by this development Jane was even more so. So he politely excused himself, paid his tab, and quickly left to find his partner. He knew she was hurting and knew there was little he could do to ease it. So he did the only thing he could do.

"Because I want to hear your side of the story."


	2. Surprise!

**A/N: See chapter 1 for disclaimers. My goal will be to update about once a week and try to write several chapters in advance. I have this story outlined for the most part, so yes I know where it will be going. With that being said I want to address some of the reviews. First, thanks for reviewing. Your opinions and interest are important. I just ask for you to be patient and trust where I am going to take this story. Also flashbacks are in italics.**

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><p><em>Earlier Friday morning…<em>

_ Jane cracked open an eye as she turned off the alarm beeping insistently in her ear. She let out a groan while stretching, trying to take stock of her body. She felt like she'd been run over by a truck. Her body was sore. Stiff and sore to be exact. But hey, that's what happens when you chase down a 200 pound man and wrestle him to the ground. She needed a hot shower and an equally hot cup of coffee._

_ Carefully rolling out of bed she made her way into the kitchen to start the coffee maker, silently thanking her best friend for buying the damn thing. She wasn't picky about her coffee, not really. Years of being a cop taught her to take what you can get when you can get it, but even she had to admit the coffee currently brewing in her kitchen was leaps and bounds above the instant of yesteryear. And that was all thanks to Maura. _

_ Jane was pulled from her thoughts by a light jingle. Quickly looking down, she took note of two brown eyes staring back at her intently. _

"_Joe, can't you at least wait til the coffee is done?" An answering whine was her only response. _

"_Alright, alright, let me get some clothes on and I'll take you out. Damn dog is going to be the death of me I swear."_

_ Ten minutes and a happy dog later Jane pulls a cup from the cabinet and proceeds to pour herself some of the delicious dark brew. A dash of cream and several spoonfuls of sugar later and she was in heaven. Thanks be to Maura for showing her the error of her ways, although she would never mention that to the woman in question. No way in hell. Maura would never let her live it down. _

_ Cup of coffee finally finished, Jane rinsed out the mug, placed it in the sink, and made her way to the bathroom. Maura. Everything always came back to her. She turned on the shower and stepped in. The warm water soothing her sore muscles and she relaxed under its ministrations allowing her mind to drift._

_ Her best friend had wormed her way into every inch of the detective's life. There was no place of which she wasn't a part. From her job, to her family, her relationships, hell even in her dealings with Hoyt Maura was there. If not in the forefront then always hovering in the background. _

_ Jane loved her, was in love with her. She had been since the whole damn Doyle debacle. The epiphany didn't come immediately after the shooting, hell it didn't come until months later after they were speaking again. But when it did, it was like a punch in the gut, hard, swift, and sure. It stole her breath away and in that one moment everything made sense. It explained why. _

_ Why she was so protective, why she disliked the guys Maura dated, why she hated Ian unlike any other save Hoyt. Why Doyle told her to "take care of my daughter." It even explained Hoyt and his actions the night she killed him. It explained everything, absolutely everything. And for one brief moment she was elated only to find reality come crashing back in again. _

_ For as quickly as the realization that she was in love with her best friend came, another one was hot on its heels. No matter how much she loved Maura, they could not, she could not cross that line. She wasn't afraid of unrequited love. She was fairly certain Maura felt the same way, even if she was unaware of it. And if Maura was aware of her own feelings, Jane was certain she would not act on them for fear of how Jane herself would react. If only she knew. No they couldn't cross that line for the same reason they partial around had, Doyle. The man was the gift that kept on giving._

_ Jane was pulled from her thoughts as the water became increasingly colder. Turning off the shower she reached for her towel and lightly dried herself off as she made her way into the bedroom. Swiftly looking through her closet she settled for her pin stripe suit. Since fall was in full swing, she opted for a white button down instead of one of her colorful tees. She quickly dressed, pulled her into a pony tail, grabbed her keys and headed out the door to the station._

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><p><em> Pulling up to the curb she realized it was still early. If she had any luck her ma would just have finished a pot of coffee. She could grab a cup for both herself and Maura and make a pit stop to the morgue. If she's really lucky they may even get to spend a few quiet minutes together catching up before the work day is in full swing. With that thought in mind she made her way to the café. <em>

"_Hey ma, coffee done yet?"_

"_Almost, you want a cup?"_

"_Yeah and one for Maura too. You know the way she likes it."_

"_Sure. You don't look so tired today."_

"_I actually got to sleep last night. Bagging an asshole like Mendez will do that for you."_

"_So you finally got him? That's good baby, that's good. Will things calm a bit now that you've "bagged his ass" as you so eloquently put it?"_

_Softly chuckling, "yeah ma, at least until we get closer to the trial. Frost and I will have to do trail prep, go over our testimonies, the evidence, you know, the usual. That will make for long days and late nights."_

"_Mmm hmm" is all Angela says, followed by "here's the coffee. Have a good day sweetie."_

_ As she turns to leave, Jane stops herself. Looking over her shoulder she sees her mom working steadily, humming and putting the finishing touches on what Angela would call her domain. It reminds her of when she was a little girl watching her mom clean up after a family dinner. And it is in this moment she notices, and not for the first time, how strong and resilient her mother is. But it is the first time that she truly appreciates it, appreciates her for it._

_ She feels an unexpected swell of pride and love in chest for this woman, her mother. She has always been there, even when Jane tried her hardest to drive her away. Turning to face the woman behind her fully and before thinking better of it, she responds the only way she knows how._

"_Ma?"_

_She hears a soft "Hmmm?" in reply._

"_I…I just wanted to say thanks. For not riding my ass during the Mendez case. I know you worry, about Frankie and me, with our jobs, and the hours we work it's only natural. But I wanted to say thanks for worrying but not hovering. Thanks for being there ma, for always being there. I just want you to know I love you, okay?"_

_Smiling, "I love you too sweetie."_

_ Turning abruptly on her heels, Jane made her way to the elevators, relishing hitting the down button. What had once been a daily occurrence was reduced to a rare indulgence thanks to the Mendez case. Her and Frost had worked that case exclusively, delegating all others to members of Homicide, per Cavanaugh. So for the past three weeks she had barely seen hide nor hair of her best friend._

_ Today that was going to change. She finally had her life back, until some other psycho decided to make an appearance. It was going to be a good day. She would enjoy a few quiet moments with Maura before heading back upstairs. They would all head to the Robber after work and maybe Jane could talk her friend to an impromptu movie night. It was just what she needed. _

_ With a bounce in her step, the brunette made her way off the elevator and into the morgue. Just as she thought, no one else is here yet. All the lights were still out with the exception of Maura's office. Jane noticed Maura's door was open and smiled to herself. Would the woman ever learn? She made it almost too easy sometimes. Maura wouldn't even hear her coming and at just the right time Jane would appear to scare the hell out of her. _

_ The detective silently rounded the corner, opened her mouth, only to have the words die in her throat at the sight before her. Maura was kissing a man. And not just any man. She was kissing Frankie. _


	3. The blow-out

**A/n: So I have attempted to address some concerns reviewers had about this story and where it was going by submitting my own review so I could respond to those who were guests. I also tweaked this chapter a bit. At first, I was going to deal with the issue of the sex but there was just no good place to put it without making this chapter even longer than it already was. I wanted to try and break this up into 2 chapters but there really wasn't anywhere that was a good break. Hence, its length. The next chapter will deal with the sex issue, not in great depth but you will find out whether Frankie and Maura, have, haven't, or somewhere in between. I will try my hardest to have that chapter up sometime this week to quiet the fears of those who think Rizziles must be doomed. Please be patient. Also, if you're going to review you don't have to be nasty. We are all human beings so deserve to be treat with mutual respect. You don't have to like my writing of my story but there is no need to be ugly. With that said I hope you enjoy. No beta so all mistakes are mine.**

_ Maura is kissing Frankie. Maura is __**kissing**__ Frankie! It was a mantra viscously whipping around in her head. She wanted to speak, wanted to scream but she couldn't find her voice. Besides, what the hell would she say? _

_ Her body felt heavy and rooted to the spot where she stood. She wanted to look away from the scene playing out before her but couldn't. It was like watching a bad car accident happen with sick fascination. She was sure if someone looked at her, her face would be pale, white as a ghost. Maura would say she was in shock._

_ Yes, she was in shock and it was rapidly giving way to rage. It burned white hot, coiling tight in her belly, burning brightly in her breast, and pounding in her blood. Her body began to tremble and her hands slowly clenched. Her breathing and heart rate increased, while her nostrils flared with each puff of expelled breath from her burning lungs. She was vaguely aware of something that sounded oddly like water spilling and felt a burning sensation in running down her hands to her wrists._

_ Looking down she saw it was the scalding liquid pouring out of the now crumbled cups. Upon this realization, she swiftly dropped the crushed cups and watched them fall to the floor. She heard something that sound vaguely like her name. Remembering where she was she snapped her head up and hard, calculating eyes took in the expressions of the two people standing before her. She watched, enthralled, as the emotions played out on their faces. Shock, horror, concern, and guilt. She absently noted that even in all her rage she still couldn't help but find the woman before her breathtakingly beautiful and it made her heart ache. The honey blonde seemed to recover first._

"_Jane!" The woman in question lurched forward only to be stopped abruptly by a voice hard as steel, devoid of all emotion, except barely contained rage._

"_Don't you touch me. Don't you __**fucking**__ touch me!" Jane watched as her friend visibly flinched. Never in all their time together had she ever spoken to Maura in such a way. Not even when they were fighting over Doyle. For a brief moment Jane almost felt bad. Almost._

"_But you're hurt" the other woman noted softly. Jane ignored the concern in her voice and instead focused her attention on her brother._

"_Frankie, __**what. the. hell. **__I mean what the hell? The detective noted her friend didn't even try to admonish her for her language. It showed she understood this was serious. Good, because it was._

_ With Jane's attention focused on Frankie, Maura struggled to make sense of the situation before her. She hadn't expected to see Jane this morning. Considering she closed a case yesterday and was fighting weeks of exhaustion she expected her friend to take advantage of the opportunity for extra sleep. She honestly didn't think she would see Jane before lunch. It was normal procedure for the detective after a particular gurgling case. But of course Jane rarely did what she expected her to. She was pulled from her thoughts by Jane's question._

"_How long Frankie?_

"_Janie…I..I?_

"_Damn it! How long?" All semblance of control now gone. Frankie looked like a deer caught in headlights. Maura knew she would have to answer._

"_About 2 months" she croaked._

"_What?!" Jane snapped._

"_A week or two shy of 2 months" her voice now a little steadier. _

"_2 months. Before or after?"_

"_What?" Frankie wasn't quite sure what his sister was asking. At this moment he wasn't sure of anything. All he knew was he was in deep shit and it was just about to get worse._

"_Before or after Frankie?" Frankie continued to stare trying to give his sister what she wanted, his brain just wasn't cooperating. _

"_Our little talk. You know the one in the elevator. The one where I asked you in my own way not to date Maura because she's family? _

_ Shit, Frankie was screwed. He knew he was screwed. He'd been caught and there was no way out._

"_Excuse me? You what?" the blonde interrupted._

"_Jane, I am a grown woman, capable of making my own decisions. And Frankie isn't the only one to blame for the current situation. I had a hand in its making as well. So any concerns you have regarding our…relationship should be addressed to me as well" she appealed frowning. Was this a relationship? Technically it could be interpreted as such. _

_ When Frankie, first approached her after their ill advised kiss, she was wary. She had politely declined his offer of a date. She calmly informed him she thought it rather unwise considering Jane's feelings on Tommy and herself. Frankie said nothing in response but simply gave a small nod and returned upstairs. At the time she thought that would be the end of it._

_ Only a week later he approached her asking her out again. When she began to restate her reasons for her refusal he interrupted stating he believed Jane's aversion to Maura having a relationship with Tommy was because of his past and his knack for getting himself into trouble. She still wasn't entirely convinced but he pressed on by bringing another point to his favor. _

_ He asked her if Jane had ever said anything to her about dating himself. And in all honesty she had not. Jane never said anything regarding Frankie and herself. He went one step further explaining that while Jane and Tommy might be less than enthused by the prospect they would come to see it as a good thing. He was more certain of Angela. He stated she would be thrilled at the prospect and get the others in line if need be. _

_ She had to give it to him…he made a very reasonable argument. She had asked him for time to think about it before giving him her decision. And she did. While his logical may have been flawed, it was sound. And while she knew in heart that there was a possibility Jane would be mad, her head said it was a logical conclusion to attempt a relationship with Frankie and one Jane would understand._

"_You finished?" Jane spat out. Maura gave a small but curt nod._

"_Good. Because __**I**__ promise you will get the chance to address my concerns. But right now I want to finish talking to __**my**__ brother. So I'm telling you __**Don't. interrupt. Me . Again. **__Got it?"_

_ And she did. She did get it. Jane was livid. She had been prepared for the possibility of the detective's anger but this went beyond what she anticipated as a response._

"_So Frankie. I'll ask you again. Before or after?" Frankie closed his eyes and released a long breath._

"_After." It was said in complete resignation and acceptance of what was about to happen. And that one little word was all it took. Jane snapped and before anyone could stop her, she had Frankie pinned up against a wall, forearm to his throat._

_ While Jane had always loved Tommy, Frankie was her favorite. He idolized her. Followed her where ever she went. She was partially the reason he had joined the force. But they had also grown up together. Being so close in age it was natural how close they were. Often times growing up they were more like best friends than brother and sister. So her reaction surprised. He had known she would likely be angry but this, this rage, he had not expected it, especially for it to be directed at himself. He had never been on the receiving end of it and in all honesty he was scared shitless._

"_You selfish, self-serving, piece of shit…"_

"_Jane! Jane! Stop!" Maura exclaimed grabbing her friend by the arm trying to pull her away._

"_Jane, listen to me. If you do this, if you say those words, if you…hurt him, you'll never be able to forgive yourself. I know you Jane. You don't want to do this." It was no use. She wouldn't budge. The adrenaline and the anger surging through her friend had made her unreasonable strong. Maura was panicking now. She searched for words, for a way to reason with her only to come up blank. Finally she decided on the one thing that had always worked in the past._

"_Jane, please" the blonde woman pleaded. "For me Jane, stop for me." And just like that the bomb of Jane Rizzoli had been diffused or so she thought until the woman in question turned toward her, eyes wild and finger pointed accusingly._

"_And you, you're my best friend Maura. You know how I felt about you…" and here she faltered. Maura didn't know how she felt about her at least not that she was aware of. She attempted to keep that tid bit of information looked away deep in the recesses of her heart and mind. _

_ Not out of fear for herself. She didn't fear the doctors discovery or her disapproval, she knew Maura would love her, would be her friend no matter what. Her fear was of her approval. And what that approval would mean for her friend. Maura had more to lose than Jane herself and she couldn't let her risk it. _

_ But now all that protecting was a moot point because Frankie was selfish. Because he couldn't or wouldn't understand what was at stake here. Taking a breath she finished…_

"_You knew how I felt about you and Tommy so why would you think Frankie be any different?"_

_ And there it was. What she had known on an instinctual level from the beginning. She had been swayed by logic, flawed logic. The irony was not lost on her. For all her criticism of "thinking with your gut" and her praise of conclusions based on scientific data and facts she found the former would have been her saving grace while the latter had failed her. _

_ Maura could not answer the question, at least not the way Jane wanted her to. What could she say? Your brother purposely deceived me? He persuaded me with his logic? The logic was sound? No. As mad as she was at the moment with Frankie for not only lying about Jane's feelings on the subject, she had no one to blame but herself. She could not, would not place the blame on Frankie. _

_ She had made a decision, albeit a bad one, based on bad information, but she had made it none the less. And now, now she would have to face the music as the colloquialism went. She would just have to hope that Jane would in time forgive her._

"_You didn't think it would be different, did you? You knew I'd be mad." The latter was more in the form of an accusation than a question. Her head was slightly tilted, with hawk like eyes she locked in on her friends hoping, searching. Trying to keep the tears that threaten to spill out at bay._

"_Yes and no."_

"_Damn it Maura" Jane growled "stop deflecting."_

"_I'm not."_

"_Then explain!"_

"_Okay. Yes, I knew you being angry was a possibility"_

"_Then why the hell" the brunette interrupted._

"_Let me finish!" the doctor chastised. Once she was sure of Jane's cooperation she continued._

"_Like I said, I knew anger was one possible outcome. On the other hand, you have never mentioned anything about my possible involvement with Frankie. So from a logical stand point you never gave your approval or disapproval of a situation of that nature. I made an logical conclusion based on the facts I had on hand."_

"_Really? That's your excuse?"_

"_It's not an excuse Jane, it's an honest answer to your question."_

_ And it was. Jane knew it was. She didn't have to look to see if hives would appear. It was just how Maura would think. She would analyze and deduce until the cows came home. She could somewhat understand her friend's logic. Not necessarily because it made sense but rather it was how Maura would think and approach the situation. While it didn't absolve her of what she'd done, ease the hurt in her chest, or take the sting out of the betrayal, it did lessen some of her anger. _

"_So when were you going to tell me?"_

"_I…We…don't know."_

_Feeling her anger rise to the forefront once again "you don't know? What do you mean you don't know?" she demanded._

"_We were going to wait and see where this" motioning between herself and Frankie "went. When it was serious, when and if it got serious we were going to tell you."_

"_Serious? You've been dating for 2 damn months. You don't call that serious. I catch you playing tonsil hockey, in your office, and that's not serious? If you don't call this serious then what the hell is it? Some sex…" and she stopped herself there. As much as it hurt to think of them as a couple, the only thing that could be worse was if it was some sex thing. She couldn't handle that and she didn't want to know either. She had to extract herself from this situation now before brutally honest Maura told her all the gory details. This conversation had to end now and she was going to be the one to put a stop to it._

"_You know what? I don't want to know. I am done with this, whatever this is" circling her finger between the three of them._

"_Jane wait! It's not what you think" trying to stop the brunette from rapidly retreating._

"_Maura, no! I'm not going to talk about this anymore. I can't. I won't. I am done. I have to get upstairs. I'm already late. I have wasted enough time down here this morning dealing with this shit." She ran a hand through dark locks and took a claming breath and turned to go only to be stopped a second later._

"_Jane"_

"_Janie" her brother and best friend pleaded at the same time_

"_Let us explain."_

"_Yeah sis give us a chance to explain."_

_ Jane turned and silenced them both with an outstretched hand. With eyes closed, her voice breaking and barely above a whisper "answer me this. Did either one of you consider what would happen if this ended badly?"_

"_I…I don't understand what you mean" the blonde frowning at the implication. _

"_I mean have you two already forgotten about Doyle and the shit storm that ensued from that fuck up?"_

_ When Jane saw Maura's eyes widen and her face pale she knew the honey blonde understood the implications of their actions, at least in part, and was satisfied her feelings and position had been properly understood. Frankie, bless his heart, was struggling to put the pieces together. He was a good cop but sometimes he was thick headed. _

_ At this point, Jane was certain of one thing. Regardless of her feelings on the matter, for good or bad nothing would ever be the same. Things between her and Maura, between all of them had been irrevocable altered and there was no going back. With one last look at the woman she loved, she turned on her heels and let them both in stunned silence. _


	4. Aftermath

**A/n: First a little shout out to reviewers who I can't PM and thank for their reviews.**

**Casey- thank you for both of your reviews. I sincerely appreciate your feedback. I liked your take on Maura/Tommy and Maura/Frankie. It was intelligent and well thought out. I am glad you are enjoying it.**

**Cath- Thank you for a healthy dose of perspective and for the encouragement it provided. Also thanks for sticking around to see where this goes.**

**So here is another chapter. I know it has been about 4 chapters in 4 days but after today the will probably slow done, at least for a bit anyways. My significant other will be returning home tonight after 6 months of being away and will be on leave for the next 2 weeks. In light of that my time to write will probably be limited but I will try to do so when I can. I hope you enjoy!**

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><p><em>Maura stared intently at the form before her. Her friend, her best friend. Her detective; strong, brave, loyal, true. Her protector, her own personal savior of sorts. How many times had Jane protected her? Saved her? Put Maura's well-being above her own? Countless.<em>

_ As she watched the detective quickly retreat the way from which she came, she felt her stomach drop and her heart clench painfully. Emotions slammed into her, pummeling her in their intensity. She barely had time to identify one before another was rearing up demanding her attention._

_ They swirled inside her clarifying in shape and taste only to become muddy once again. Shock, fear, hurt, anger, frustration. They all played a part but the one she felt most acutely was grief. It felt as if part of her died or been stripped away leaving her less than whole._

_ What had she done?! How could she have been so foolish? So ignorant? No she hadn't been ignorant. Ignorance would suggest she couldn't have anticipated Jane's feelings but she had known from the start her friend's anger was a valid possibility. She knew the tall brunette could see her actions as a betrayal, but she had sincerely hoped that she wouldn't. _

_ If it wasn't ignorance, what was it then? Arrogance. She had been arrogant. She put her faith in reason and deduction, believing her logic would silence any of Jane's misgivings. She had been certain once her friend was presented with the facts, that now turned out to be lies and half truths, and reasoning Jane would concede to her point._

_ But she had been more than arrogant as well, so much more. In a very unlike Maura move, she had been callous. For all her preparing and predicting of Jane's response she overlooked one very important variable: her friend's feelings or rather the intensity of them. She had accounted for her friend's possible anger and feelings of betrayal but not the rage, and if she was honest with herself the hurt. Jane compared their current situation to the aftermath of her father's shooting. That thought gave her pause. _

_ Oh God! Oh no! With sudden clarity she realized she lost her best friend, the person who meant the world to her, quite possibly forever. This wasn't some petty argument or minor conflict that would be easily resolved. No! No, this was like the fallout from the shooting, a deep chasm between them. Herself on one side and Jane on the other with no way to bridge the gap._

_ She couldn't breathe, her legs were trembling. She felt like she might have a vasovagal episode. She needed to sit. It was too much. The emotional onslaught was simply too much. She stumbled as she tried to scramble to her chair. Her hand shot out gripping the desk before her for balance. _

_ A new wave of grief seared its way through her chest and her heart tightened. So strong was it in its intensity she found her self doubled over, clasping a hand over her month in an effort to stifle the strangled sob threatening to escape._

_ She felt warm hands pressed to her shoulders and suddenly stood upright. When she did, hazel eyes met chocolate orbs but these were not the eyes she desired to peer into. The ones she craved were a darker shade of brown with a small flecks of amber. They were filled with warmth, compassion, mirth, complexity, understanding, and something more. The eyes before her now contained worry and concern and something that looked suspiciously like wariness and guilt._

"_Maura, you okay?" His voice was warm but it lacked something. A certain ambience that Jane's voice contain, that was soothing._

_ She gently removed his hands from her shoulders and dropped them, allowing them to fall to his sides. Taking a steadying breath she pointed to the door "you should go."_

"_Maura…" he started._

"_Frankie, no. I can't do this right now. I cannot talk about this, about us…whatever this is at the moment."_

_Huffing incredulously "why?"_

"_You can't be serious?!" It seemed Jane wasn't the only Rizzoli who had a hard time grasping the meaning of the word no._

"_For one, you lied to me. You willfully deceived me. You knew how Jane felt yet you deferred to your feelings in place of her's." she finished moving to stand behind her desk._

"_I'm not the only one who "deferred"" he said making mock quotation marks around the word "Jane's feelings in favor of my own, Maura. You had to know on some level Jane would not take this well."_

_ He was angry. In the last hour he had gone from blissfully happy to feeling like gum on the bottom of somebody's shoe. Sure, he was partially at fault, partially to blame but there were two of them. And like she told Jane earlier she had made her own decision. He wouldn't shoulder all of this himself._

_ "You're right. We are both equally to blame for the situation we find ourselves in. We are both equally guilty in how we acted in regards to Jane. But you hold responsibility in an area I do not. You lied to achieve what you wanted. You knew with absolute certainty Jane would not approve, while I did not. I am not some prize Frankie! I am a person with feelings who deserves mutual respect!"_

"_I know that! Don't you think I know that?!" he bellowed._

"_Then tell me why Frankie? Why lie?"_

"_Because" he started and then stopped. He was going to be honest here regardless of what it cost him. "Because I know, if you had even the smallest hint that Jane wouldn't approve you would say no. And I thought we could be good together, good for each other. And once everyone saw that, they would come to accept it, accept us."_

"_That's your reasoning! That's like…oh what is that saying…ah, robbing Peter to pay Paul. I think that's right. Anyways, why not just be upfront with Jane from the beginning and if she didn't listen why not come appeal to me for my help?"_

"_Ahem…Dr. Isles?" Both Frankie and Maura looked to the doorway_

"_Yes, Susie?"_

"_The staff is starting to arrive" Susie was hoping they would get the hint. Obviously not. Okay she would try again._

"_And I thought you might want shut the door, for privacy."_

"_Yes, thank you Susie, would you please shut it on your way out?" Maura waited until Susie left before resuming._

"_Now where were we?"_

"_You were saying I should have talked to Jane but really Maura? Would you have had yes if you new that Jane disapproved even if it was only a little bit?"_

"_No, I wouldn't have" she confirmed_

"_And why is that Maura?" he countered leaning over her desk._

"_Because she's my best friend!" slamming her palm on the desk._

"_You sure that's all it is?"_

"_What is that suppose to mean?" she demanded._

"_Nothing, never mind" with a wave of his hand,, he turned his back to her._

"_Look, Frankie, I am not blaming you for my decision. It was mine and mine alone to make. But you put me at a disadvantage by with holding facts that you knew would directly affect my decision."_

"_So where does that leave us?" he queried softly._

"_No where good" she murmured._

"_Pardon?"_

"_Frankie there are more pressing matters for us to deal with at the moment, like trying to fix things with Jane, than discussing us. With that being said, in light of the events of this morning, I think it best if we no longer see each other romantically. It's over, Frankie." _

"_It's not what I want but okay"_

_She gave a small nod of acknowledgement before finally sitting down at her desk._

"_What about Jane?" he asked as he turned to leave, door already open._

_She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose trying to ward of the headache that was pulsing behind her eyes and breathed out "I think we all need some time to digest everything that has happened this morning and for emotions to settle. Plus, we both know Jane needs to calm down before we approach her. If we try to soon she will simply shut us out and not listen to a thing we have to say. We can try tonight at the Robber."_

"_You think she'll actually show?" He was skeptical._

_Maura gave a sad smile, "we can only hope."_

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><p><strong>An: Ok so yes I know I didn't make it to the issue of sex. There was just no place in this chapter it would logically fit. Sorry about that. I write my chapters in advance and then often end tweaking them before publishing. The issue will fit better in the next chapter.**


	5. Avoid at all costs

**A/n: So here is chapter 5. Chapter 6 is already partially written. It just needs to be finished, proof read, edited, and then posted. I originally wanted to post these 2 chapters together because 6 deals with "the sex" and I promised it would be addressed in chapter 5. Unfortunately, when I began to flesh this chapter out there was no place for me to include it that didn't disrupt the follow of the chapter. I could have extended the chapter but honestly, where it ended seemed like a natural stopping point. So I am sorry I promised and was unable to deliver. I want to have 6 up by Tuesday of next week but that might not happen. My partner is home after being away for 6 months and on R&R for two weeks starting next week. So my focus will be on home during that time and writing taking a back seat. So with that in mind I wanted to post this chapter even though I was unable to do what I anticipated. Please forgive and don't worry, if there is no new update during the next 2 weeks. They will begin again once R&R is over. Also, I have no beta and though I proof read some mistakes inevitably slip through. So please, enjoy!**

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><p><em>Leaving Maura's office, Jane pushed past the elevators and strode straight to the stairs. Ironically, or maybe not so much, Maura making some quip about the health benefits of taking the stairs crossed her mind. Fueled by anger and hurt she climbed the remaining steps, taking them two at a time until she burst through the doors leading to the bullpen. She sent up a silent thank you no one was there to witness your graceless entry. She had been uncomfortable and embarrassed enough this morning, there was no need to add to it.<em>

_ With a heavy sigh, she headed to her desk, plopping down in her seat and turning her computer on. But now that she was here, what was she going to do? In all her anger she had forgotten one important detail, paperwork, which meant a whole day stuck in here. A whole day of possible run ins with the happy couple. She honestly didn't think they would be so heartless to flaunt their relationship in front of her but she wasn't willing to take any chances. _

_ She had to get out of here, she stood up and began to pace. She didn't trust herself or her temper. Plus, if by some unfortunate event the three of them found themselves in the same room with Korask or Frost they would notice the tension. They would know something was up and the last thing she wanted was everyone knowing her damn business. Her only hope was if they caught a case. But that was unlikely. She had paperwork that needed to be done and Frost was set to help Korsak and Frankie for the day. On top of that her and Frost were on call this weekend which meant Crowe and Brown were up._

_ She groaned. She groaned audibly. What grown woman does that? Shit, if she was on call that meant Maura was too. What seemed like a good idea at the time was coming back to bite her in the ass. They had synced their schedules months ago. It was for the benefit of them both. Jane didn't have to work with Pike, barring an emergency or Maura being out of town and the honey blonde wasn't forced to work with some of the jackasses from homicide, like Crowe. Plus they got their off time together. It had been a win-win. _

_ No! Hell no! If she couldn't handle normal Maura right now, there was no way she could handle straight out of bed Maura. The good doctor was always beautiful and well put together no matter whether it was 2 in the morning or 4 in the afternoon but there was something sweeter, more open about middle of the night Maura. To someone who didn't know the doctor well, they wouldn't be perspective to the difference, it was that subtle. It was the way her eyes still held the slight wariness and confusion of interrupted sleep and here voice was a bit thick with lingering grogginess. Jane always thought her beautiful, but even more so than normal. No, she couldn't handle it especially knowing who her friend could have left sleeping in her bed. She couldn't let her mind dwell on that thought right now, she had to found a way out of this mess._

_ How was she going to remedy this? There was really only one answer to that question and she was loathe to do it but she didn't have another option. Strolling over to the large wooden door, Jane rapped twice loudly and waited for the voice on the other side._

"_Yeah?" the man bellowed._

_ Taking a calming breath she turned the knob and cracked open the door. The man who spoke moments before was hunched over his desk pen in hand. "Probably dealing with some department bullshit" she thought to herself._

"_Lieutenant, you got a minute?"_

_Cavanaugh gave her a short "No, but for you Rizzoli I ca make one."_

_ As much as she was grossed out by the thought of her boss and her ma, he was a good man and a damn good lieutenant._

"_Whatcha need Rizzoli?"_

"_I've got some time saved up. I wanted to take some."_

"_You've got more than a little. What days and how many?"_

"_Today…and…the weekend." _

_He slowly leaned back in his chair and threw the pen he was holding on the desk. He penned her with his gaze. It was a look perfected from years of being on the job. "Please don't make make this into a big deal, please" she pleaded in her head. He was searching her, trying to decipher her reasons for asking this. She could see it on his face. She barely resisted the urge to squirm under the scrutiny. Mustering all her strength she looked up from the hands in her lap and looked her lieutenant in the eye._

"_What's this about Rizzoli? Is it about the Mendez case?"_

"_No sir."_

_ Sitting forward again with his arms on the desk, "care to enlighten me?"_

"_No, not at the moment sir" her voice smooth and face a mask of indifference._

_ He paused another moment to study her. There were light circles under eyes. He knew they were due to lack of sleep. That wasn't uncommon for cops, especially not a homicide detective. They got called out all hours of the night, worked long hours, particularly if a case was brutal. Her face was passive but the tightness around her eyes and mouth gave her away. Whatever her reasons, they were personal._

_ He respected her. On more than one occasion he watched as she pieced herself back together. Hoyt would have completely shattered a lesser person, maybe that's why targeted her. She was worthy his respect, she had earned it, and because of that he would not push._

"_Okay. Take today and the weekend. I'll shuffle the schedule around."_

_With just a nod she rose from her seat and turned toward the door. Just as her hand rested on the knob he called out, "And Jane, if Monday comes around and find you need more, no matter how much, just let me know. We'll make it work."_

"_Thank you sir."_

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><p><em> She walked with quickened strides from the bullpen, down the stairs, and out the front door of the BPD. Unlocking the unmarked car, she slide behind the steering wheel and drove off. He goal for the foreseeable future: avoid Frankie and Maura at all costs. She knew she couldn't forever, but today, right now, she needed space. She could only hope they would give it to her.<em>

_ Either way going home or to any of her regular haunts was out of the question. Too big a risk of a chance encounter, not just with her friend and brother but also Frost or Korsak as well. And that would lead to unwanted questions she didn't necessarily have all the answers to. Nope, she would have to go some place no one would look for her. And she knew just such place._

* * *

><p><em> Frankie rushed from Maura's office to the elevator, violently mashing the button with his thumb. He waited impatiently for the ding announcing its arrival and quickly glided in.<em>

_ Shit! Shit, shit , shit! He fucked up. He royal fucked up. He wasn't suppose to fuck up, he was the sensible one. Tommy was the fuck up and Jane the impulsive one, but somehow he managed to become both. Tommy would never let him live this down and Ma…how was he gonna explain this to ma?! His heart almost stuttered to a stop at that thought. He suddenly felt sick. He couldn't face her, no yet. He would take a play from Jane's book and avoid, avoid her at all costs._

_ There was no way he could see his mother. One look at him and she'd know, she always knew when her kids messed up. And she wouldn't let it go til he had spilled his guts and she had all the gruesome details. She was like a damn dog with a bone, tenacious. _

_ On top of that, how the hell was he suppose to give Jane space? They worked in the same fucking building. Their desks were literally mere feet from one another. If anyone saw them together, and no doubt the icy coldness Jane was sure to direct his way, they would know something was wrong. And if they knew something was wrong they'd tell ma._

_ Shit! He really couldn't stay here today. He'd just have to ask Cavanaugh if he could go. Maybe he could tell the lieutenant he wasn't feeling well because that certainly was the case._

_ He made his way off the elevator and into the bullpen. Immediately his eyes went to Jane's desk. It was empty. He breathed a sigh of momentary relief, but wait she's got case paperwork that has to get done. She's gotta be here somewhere. His eyes frantically sweep across the large room searching for any sign of his sister only to come up with none. His eyes flicked back to her desk. No coffee on the corner, same clutter on there from the day before but her computer was on. Suddenly Frost came the corner._

"_Jesus!" Frankie Exclaimed jumping back._

_Chuckling with his hands in an appeasing gesture, "sorry I didn't mean to scare you."_

"_You…you didn't…I mean...have you seen Jane?"_

"_Nah. Cavanaugh said she took today and the weekend off."_

"_He say why?"_

"_No, but why would he? It's not really our business. At least, that's what Jane would say._

"_Right. Yeah. Thanks Frost." Bullet dodged. He was safe. He walked with Frost to his desk and lazily sat down in his chair. Frankie closed his eyes and let the stress and the worries of the morning begin to slowly roll away._

"_No problem. Hey you want some coffee? Korsak just made his way to the café? I could shoot him a message real quick and have him grab one for you" Frost making a move to sit in his own chair. _

_Frankie eyes snapped open while he sat up bolt right. Damn it! That means ma will know Jane left for the day. She's gonna be on a fucking rampage wanting to know why. Shit! Back to the original plan, he had to get out of here. _

"_Frost?"_

"_Yeah?" not looking up from the screen before him._

"_With Jane gone you gonna be doing case paperwork instead of running down those leads Korsak gave you right?_

"_Yeah, I'm stuck here doing this shit for the whole day. Out of all the days she could have asked for the off it had to be today. I swear sometimes your sister has shitty timing."_

"_Tell me about it" mumbling to himself while rubbing the back of his neck."_

"_Why do you ask?"_

"_Well, I just thought I could run those leads instead. Korsak won't need my help on the John Doe case. I can't work the Bell case til the autopsy and tox results are in so it will give me something to do."_

_ Frost eyed him skeptically, "You do know Korsak gave me the shit work right? Interviews, follow ups, routine crap. I mean you'll be hitting the pavement all day."_

_Bingo. Jackpot. "Yeah, sure, I wouldn't expect anything less from the old man but it still needs to be done right?_

"_Yeah"_

"_Then give me whatcha got?"_

* * *

><p><em> Maura promised herself she would give Jane space, no calling, no texting. The detective needed space and given what she had put her friend through this morning, it was the least she could do. There was only one problem with this plan, she didn't want to give her space. She wanted to try and resolve this now no matter how unwise the decision was. <em>

_ She grabbed her phone only to put it back down immediately. No, they both needed time to process and think. It would not do to go into a discussion of this sort unprepared, and she needed to see Jane. Needed to be able to read her, while having this conversation. No, she would not call, she would wait for tonight._

* * *

><p><em> Susie was certainly earning her pay today. In an effort to avoid Jane and Frankie, Maura sent all lab results and autopsy reports via the smaller woman. Her only concern was how Barry and Vince would interpret this. They may not have been as good as a detective as Jane but they were still detectives and far from stupid. She respected both men and their talents. She just didn't need any more attention brought to an already uncomfortable situation. So avoidance was her plan and so far it was working quite well, until she heard the soft tap on her door.<em>

_Looking up, there stood Vince, coffee in hand and soft smile on his face. "I was wondering if you've got a minute doc?"_

"_If this is about the Bell case results won't be in for another 24 to 48 hours," she stated in an effort to avoid the inevitable. _

"_No, nothing to do with the case, it's about Jane. Could we talk for a minute?"_

_ This was exactly what she was trying to avoid, Vince or Barry asking questions she was unprepared to answer. He must have suspected something was wrong and not just because of Jane but probably because she hadn't been up to the bullpen as of yet this morning. To say no outright would only increase his suspicions, it was better to try and answer what she could and deflect the rest._

_ She moved from the chair behind her desk to the small couch that occupied the room. Sitting up straight, crossing her ankles, and motioning for Vince to join her "Certainly. Please have a seat." _

_ He made his way into the office, sitting at the other end of the couch. "Here. I thought you could use a cup."_

_ Coffee. Just the mention of the hot beverage sent Maura's mind racing back over the tumultuous morning. In all the chaos of what happened she had forgotten about Jane standing before her and Frankie. Jane with hot liquid overflowing from mangled cups, spilling over tan hands, her face contorted in horror and rage. She winced at the memory._

"_Don't worry doc, I had Angela make it fresh, just the way you like it. I know it's normally Jane's job but she left for the day and took the weekend off too…"_

"_Wait, What?!" Maura was confused. Jane wasn't here. Of course she wasn't, she was avoiding just like she was. She just hadn't expected the woman in question leave work in order to do so. She was insufferable, never doing what Maura expected. It was one of the this she loved about her friend but it exasperated her to know end. The detective was probably on of the few, maybe even the only, person who could frustrate the unflappable Dr. Maura Isles. This did not bode well for her or Frankie, not that she was terribly concerned about him right now considering she was still angry with him, if Jane was unhinged enough to ask for time off._

_ She noticed the man sitting next to her was observing her intently. She must have missed part of their conversation._

"_I'm sorry Vince, what was it you were saying, I was distracted?" with a tight smile._

"_I asked if you knew why Jane left?"_

_Yes she knew but she couldn't tell him that, not without rehashing the whole sordid affair of the morning and its aftermath. Jane was already mad at her and there was no way she was going to incur her wrath further but telling Vince. She couldn't avoid but she could deflect._

"_I'm sorry Vince. You know if Jane told me her reasons for leaving for the day, I could not, nor would I share it with you" she explained with a kind smile to take the sting out of her words._

"_Yeah, I know but I thought it was worth a shot" the older man sighed as he got up to leave. He turned back to look at her, analyzing in the way only a detective can do. He opened his month to speak. "Please don't ask me anything else" she thought to herself. And was if he could read her thoughts, he snapped his mouth shut and walked towards the door once more._

_ Before he made his way out of she called out, "Thank you for the coffee Vince."_

_With a smile in his voice, "sure thing doc" and he was gone._

_Maura rose from the couch and made her way back to her desk. Once seated, she made a decision. Squaring her shoulders, clenching her jaw, she picked up the phone and began to dial the familiar number of one Jane Rizzoli._


	6. Needing time

**A/n: So shorter chapter but this is a 2 for 1 special. Sorry about the delay in posting but life has been busy. I do want to assure everyone I have every intention of finishing this story it will just take time for me to do it. This chapter is more a bit of filler but it was needed in order to set up chapters to come. Also, I am not a Frankie hater, there is just not a whole lot of character development for him on the show. So I wanted to dig into him a bit especially since he always seems to be in Jane's shadow. No one is perfect and I find it hard to believe there wouldn't ever be some sibling rivalry. Anyways, enjoy!**

**To Casey- Once again thanks for the well thought out and intelligent review and for seeing I am trying, not to take the characters out of character, but rather fill in the blanks and elaborate on the small glimpses they give us on the show.**

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><p><em> It had been little over an hour since her life came crashing down. What had promised to be a glorious day was now her worst nightmare. Her life had been shattered by those closest to her with no idea how to put it all back together. She parked the cruiser and made her way to her intended destination.<em>

_ Jane now found herself in front of a familiar diner in a seedier part of Boston. No one would look for here. She had forgotten about this place. It had been a sort of sanctuary during her time working undercover for vice. It had been like a second home and now she found herself back where she started._

_ It was exactly the way a good diner should be. It was small, air thick with the smell of grease and day old, stale coffee. She had missed this place. Often times after or during a long night of "walking the streets" she would find herself here, mentally reviewing the events of the day. On more than one occasion she had found herself thinking of Maura._

_ The day of their first meeting was etched into her memory. Maura, wanting to help but having no social understanding of what would be deemed appropriate. She had been offended by Maura's approach. For days after that first meeting Jane had stewed over it. It had boiled her blood. When they became friends, they had laughed about it more than once. Looking back Jane could see even then she had been attracted to her without really knowing it. _

_ Shaking herself from her thoughts she made her way to the last seat at the counter. Looking around she was reminded why she had liked this place. It was quiet and even when it wasn't, people left you alone. They minded their own business never interfering with yours. "Of course, that could be because you were dressed like a hooker" she thought with a wry smile. Either way it didn't matter she just hoped for that same anonymity now. _

_ She needed the quiet, the peace, the solace this place provided, she needed to think. She needed…she needed…what she needed she wouldn't find here. She needed Maura but since Maura was the cause of her fucked up emotions, this place would have to do._

_ An older woman sporting a spotted apron with salt and pepper hair approached, pad and pencil in hand._

"_What can I getcha sweetheart?"_

"_Just coffee for now"_

_ A few moments later the woman returned with cup in hand and Jane mumbled a quiet "thanks" before staring intently at the cup before her. Her mind flashed back to the events of the morning. Maura kissing Frankie, and the searing pain that had ebbed in her chest flared back to life. She felt her breath catch from the intensity of it and the prick of tears behind her eyes. _

_ It hurt. God it hurt. It hurt worse than Dean's betrayal or Casey's abandonment and selfishness. More than scalpels through her hands or a bullet in her abdomen. More than all those months her and Maura had been at each others throats after the shooting. Her heart twisted and stomach churned. _

_She was snapped from her musings by ringing of her phone. She took it from the place on her belt switching it to silent before replacing it once again. She didn't even need to look to see who was calling, the ring tone had told her well enough, Maura. Oh, how she wanted to answer, to hear her voice. That voice had soothed her on more than one occasion. Had invaded and chased away her nightmares and calmed her fears. _

_But she wasn't ready to talk to her, not yet. She knew there would be a message waiting for her and she would listen to it. She just needed time. Time to prepare herself and her heart for the inevitable. Yes, she would listen and talk to the good doctor when she was ready. But right now, right now, she just needed time._

* * *

><p><em> It was done. The call had been made and left unanswered. Closing her eyes and releasing a heavy sigh Maura place the phone back in its cradle only to have her mind betray her once more. Events from the morning invaded unbridled. Swirling, accosting, accusing until the hollow ache inside her chest began to throb anew, burrowing deeper into her metaphorical heart.<em>

_ Resting her head in both hands, Maura let the questions and recriminations come. What had she done? And why? Why had she done this, to Jane, to herself? Why Frankie? Why had she agreed to date him? One thing she knew with absolutely certainty: if she was going to explain this to Jane she would need to know the answers to those questions. And she would. She would make sure of it. In order to do that she needed quiet reflection. She needed the peace of home without fear of interruption. But what she needed most was exactly what she didn't have a generous amount of. She needed time._

* * *

><p><em>This was quite possibly the worst fucking day of his whole existence. Not only had he betrayed his sister, lied to the woman he was dating, he was currently doing the things all cops, or at least most cops hated, beat work. "Thank God it isn't summer" Frankie muttered to himself. <em>

_ The day had been a complete and total bust. Both himself and Korsak knew from the beginning they weren't gonna find a whole lotta leads and they hadn't. He hated this shit. It was exactly like being a beat cop all over again. His feet and back hurt. He was hungry and irritable. If it weren't for the shit earlier in the morning he could be sitting comfortably sitting in the bullpen with cup of coffee in hand. Or maybe he could be down in the morgue talking to Maura. But no, Jane with her impeccable timing had fucked everything up._

_ That wasn't fair, he knew it wasn't fair. If anyone fucked up it was him. He was the one who had lied and deceived, at least more so than Maura herself. Jane had made it perfectly clear how she felt about him dating her best friend. He had blown her off thinking she was just being her bitchy self and would get over it once everything was out in the open. But somewhere in the back of his mind was a small voice that told him he knew that wasn't true. He had chosen to disregard that voice then, just as he was doing now. He knew there was more to it than that. Hell, he had even eluded to earlier this morning. But he couldn't deal with that now. He would have to come back to that at a later point when he had more time. There more pressing things at the moment._

_ One of those being Maura herself. He knew his chance with her was gone, done with, finito but they had become friends and she was apart of the family. He had to try and repair rift if he could. They also needed to talk about how they were gonna explain things to Jane, if she wanted to do that together or separately. That was the most important aspect right now. How they were gonna explain everything to his sister. When he left here he was gonna have to go to Maura's and see how she wanted to handle things and then go from there. _

_ Jane was a problem in and of herself. She was hurt by this and gonna be for a long time and it was mostly his doing. Maura may suspected his sister's aversion to them dating but he had known it. He had known it and done it anyways. God, what a self prick he was. Even now, knowing the hurt he caused he couldn't help but feel some resentment. _

_ She was the oldest and certainly Pop's favorite. The sun rose and set with her in his eyes. He had loved them all but neither himself nor Tommy ever really measured up. She had gotten better grades in school, was often better than him in sports. Youngest woman to make detective. Scored higher than him on the damn detective's exam. Captured a serial killer, not once, but twice, only to kill him later. Saved himself and Maura by shooting herself. She shattered every glass ceiling that desired to hold her in. And what got him the most, she was honest to God humble about it. She didn't throw it in his face or lord it over him. No, she loved and encouraged him._

_ It wasn't that he didn't love her, he did. He didn't even mind being in her shadow. She had gained and earned his respect. It was just, for once in his life, he wanted something for himself. Something that Jane didn't or couldn't have. And he thought Maura would be it. The problem was, Jane already had Maura and in a way he would never have her even if things had worked out. In his selfishness and insecurity he hurt the one person he loved more than any other save his Ma and he had no idea how he would fix it._

_ But the scariest situation was to come, and that was Ma. Once everything was out in the open, when all sides had been aired, and the dust had settled she was gonna have his ass. He could see her in his mind's eye, hands on hips, smacked upside the head, voiced raised and that would be just the beginning. She would make his life hell. No one fucked with a pissed off Angela Rizzoli, she was a force to be reckoned with. But there was no way in hell he was gonna deal with that until he had too. He just needed time to figure things out and get his feet back under him. Unfortunately, time was currently against him._


	7. Million dollar question

**A/n: This is a 2 for 1 so if you haven't read chapter 6 read that first before starting here. This is a full sized chapter unlike the one before it and should answer some of the questions readers had regarding the Maura/Frankie relationship. Some readers have been wanting to know what Maura saw in him and that question will be answered just not for a few more chapters. So enjoy!**

_ Maura quickly glanced around her office. It looked eerily similar to how it had this morning when she came in. This was affecting her work. She was distracted, unfocused, and unable to banish the treacherous thoughts from her mind. With a frustrated groan she resigned herself to the fact this would be unproductive day. She needed to go home. Once there she could let her mind wonder and analyze to her heart's content._

_ She quickly stood, taking stock of her surroundings and began her mental check list. "Turning computer off, all her files returned to their appropriate places, desk lamp off." She grabbed her blazer putting it on before returning for her phone and purse. She moved towards the door taking one last glance around. With a slight nod opened the door, turned off the lights, and locked it._

_ She needed to inform Susie of her plans. Looking around the morgue, she took a deep breath and allowed the familiar smells of antiseptic, bleach, and a slight smell of death to soothe her. For some it would seem odd that a place so sterile, so cold and bright and harsh could be one of comfort, but not to her. This was her domain. A safe haven. A place she could always retreat to when her life was chaos. Only it wasn't entirely true anymore. The inability to accomplish her work to today, to focus, had proven it didn't comfort her quite the way it once had and that was Jane's fault. She had wormed her way into every aspect of Maura's life, so much so, that even her job wasn't safe._

_ She could not and would not complain. She was grateful for Jane's presence in her life despite her ability to turn it upside down. Because along with the chaos and pain, she brought warmth, joy, belonging, and love. With Jane she finally found a place where she fit and she would not trade that for the world. Only in a way she had she started dating Frankie. "Not this again. I just need to go. I can finish these ruminations at home." If Susie wasn't out here she must be in the lab. Upon seeing the criminologist she lightly tapped on the glass and beckoned her over. _

_A confused look the young woman's face expressed the question in her greeting "Dr. Isles?"_

"_Susie I am leaving for the day. Would you please handle any questions and inquiries you can related to any of the open cases? _

"_Certainly Dr. Isles"_

"_Very well. I ask that I not be disturbed unless it is an emergency. I will be back on Monday and will finish everything I was unable to today. Thank you Susie and have a good weekend."_

_The young woman gave a nod of acknowledgement as Maura moved toward the parking garage only to be stopped by the sound of her name._

"_Maura?" the doctor slowly turned, eyes wide, shocked. Susie rarely used her first name even after she had repeatedly asked her to do so._

"_Jane…" the woman quickly averted her eyes from the woman before her. Glancing back she continued, "don't worry Maura, she'll come around, you're her best friend," she paused for a moment debating on whether to finish her thought and ultimately deciding to she finsihed, "besides, she loves you too much not to."_

_ Maura gave her a watery smile not trusting herself to speak, simply nodded her head in acknowledge and continued to her car._

* * *

><p><em>Maura found herself, a little over 20 minutes later, sitting idly in her drive way. She silently stared at the house before her. Her house, that had now become a home. The outside was elegantly groomed. A lawn with short cropped green grass, with well placed flowers, shrubs, and trees. She slowly slid from the driver's seat closing the door behind her. This house, this home was beautiful. But it was nothing spectacular especially in regards to the houses around it. No, what made it a home, what made it so much more than that was it nuances inside. The ones that had nothing to do with furniture or art or decorating. "No it's the human element that makes it a home and that once again comes back to Jane," she thought to herself as she entered and disarmed the alarm.<em>

_ The alarm Jane insist she have installed. Her fingers lightly danced along it lovingly. She closed her eyes allowing the memory to wash over her._

"_Come on Maur! All I'm saying is it can't hurt to have one." Jane stood before her arms crossed over her chest, vibrating with tension and frustration._

"_Jane! This is a good neighborhood and one I have never had any trouble in! One, I might remind you, that has a very low crime rate! Logically and statistically it would be a frivolous waste of money," she replied exasperated._

"_A frivolous waste of money," she bellowed. "Oh, that's rich coming from the woman with a hundred shoes and refuses to wear the same clothes twice!"_

_Hazel eyes narrowing, glinting with steel, "are you calling me wasteful, because I will have you know I am mindful of…"_

"_What?! Maura?! No, no all I am saying is you can't be too careful when it comes to safety. You of all people should know that given your job." She visibly relaxed while Jane continued, "look I just want to make sure your safe that's all."_

_With a wicked smile and mischievous eyes, "isn't that what I have you for? To make sure I am safe?"_

_With a smile the detective responds, "then how about for when I'm not here?"_

_ Stepping back, Maura let her hands drop. One word looping in her mind, Jane. Jane was always there comforting, encouraging, protecting, laughing. Yes, Jane made this house more of a home then she ever had. Moving to the kitchen she retrieved a glass from the shelf, grabbing the bottle of wine on the counter and poured herself a generous amount._

_ Taping a sip she gazed around her home. There wasn't a place that hadn't been touched by her friend in some way. The kitchen brought to mind mornings spent over coffee. The couch, reminded her of movies night with take out, beer, wine, and snuggling under a blanket until one or both finally fell asleep. The dinning room table, Sunday dinner's spent cooking, eating, and watching whatever game may be on. And the list went on, yoga in her yoga room, sleepovers either her room or the guest room. No, not one area was left unscathed by one Jane Rizzoli._

_ But that was the very nature of Jane herself and it certainly wasn't a bad thing. On the contrary, she loved it. Jane opened her up. Forced her to interact, to take risks, to live life the way it was meant to be lived. And in turn she grounded Jane. Forced her to think about how her actions and decisions affected the ones she loved. She had in a way taught the detective the importance of caution and rational thinking. They helped each other._

_ Taking generous sip of wine she noticed the light flashing on the answering machine and felt hope swell in her breast. Delicately placing the glass on the counter she walked over pushing the play button. Upon hearing her mother's voice she felt hope recede to be replaced once again by pain. She was about to delete it when she heard Jane's deep, raspy voice. She felt her frazzled nerves begin to soothe and a rush of warmth flash over her only to be replaced by what felt like ice in her veins. _

_ It was an old message. "Maur…Maura…you there? Where are you? Guess you're not there," she murmured. "You can't hide from me forever," she sing songed, "I'll find you eventually." It was from the night of her first date with Frankie which wasn't really even a date. _

_ It had been more like a business transaction. Maura had stipulations she wanted to go over before then even considered the possibility of a relationship. They had meet over coffee to discuss things. Frankie had only had one condition: he didn't want anyone to know of their arrangement, at least not at first. His reasoning being there was no reason to alert everyone to something that may not work out. He wanted to wait until things were serious. She remembered how confident he had been they would work, while she herself had been doubtful. "Should have gone with my gut as Jane would say." _

_ She had told him she only had 2 conditions. First, no dating, at least not in the traditional sense of the word at first. He had protested, arguing the whole point of this "meeting" was to have ground rules specifically for that. She in turn gave her reasons for her decision. She didn't know him, not really, other than in the sense of working together and him being her best friend's brother. She knew virtually nothing about him on a personal level. She wanted to get to know one another as friends to see if they would even be compatible without the pressures of a relationship. He had not been happy about it but had agreed none the less._

_ Her second condition surprised herself as well as him, there would be nothing physical, no sex, until everyone had been informed of their relationship, if there was one. She could tell this demand was taken as well as the last, but he wisely kept any comments to himself. When he had yet to address her further she explained that while she wasn't a floozy who had sex with random men she just met, she also wasn't as cautious in her sexual relationships as she was being with him. When he asked, "why then?" She merely replied, "because you are Jane's brother and if there was ever a time for caution this was it." He simply acknowledge her statement with a nod of his head._

_ The first month of "dating" had been purely platonic. They spent time together when work, Jane, family, or other obligations weren't an issue. They spoke on the phone occasionally if they were so inclined but it was always awkward, Maura preferring to speak in person in order to read the other person's reactions. They talked about the normal things; family, past relationships, friends and while she had trusted Frankie to a certain degree, there were things she hadn't told him. Things only Jane knew. There had been no hand holding, no kissing though Frankie had tried several times to initiate such contact. She would step away and shake her head no. So after 7 weeks of "semi-dating" there had been no sex and only 3 kisses, one being the ill fated one so many months ago. The other 2 were from the night before and this morning and reminiscent of the first. They could all be described as chaste. Maura laughed to herself, "no one would think to call me chaste," but chaste she had been. _

_ Looking back she could see she had been foolish. Foolish in allowing herself to be persuaded. Foolish that she thought it logical and even more so for not recognizing it as not being so, when she had her reservations about it in the first place. What the hell had she been thinking?! And that was the million dollar question. The one that Jane would want the answer to. What would have induced her to do it? She needed an answer to that question and at the moment she didn't have one._


End file.
